Suzanne Vega
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- What if Suze sold out? -- Parodies -
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Subj: What If Suzi Sold Out
Date: 96-07-25 22:46:15 EDT
From: arel@pc.jaring.my
Sender: owner-undertow@law.emory.edu
To: undertow@serv4.law.emory.edu
Dear Webmates,
Have you ever imagined a scenario if SV were to succumb to record company pressures and did a purely commercial record? I shudder to think of what would happen:
* The title of the album is "suzanne."
* Hugh Padgham, sound engineer on "Days of Open Hand" is at the helm as producer. Padgham is, of course, well-known for his work with Phil Collins. Oh, and Phil duets with Suzanne on an "Against All Odds" type of ballad that is also the theme song for a new Disney movie (probably the live-action "101 Dalmatians").
* A sequel of "Tom's Diner", "Tom's Ribs" is included in the album. "Tom's Ribs" details Suzi's warm observations in a black family-run barbecue restaurant. The single would include several remixes by R. Kelly (Down Home Mix, Chitterlin Mix), with guest rapper Ol' Dirty Bastard. Sample lyrics: "Where you been, girl? /You lookin' fine"/Says the man/Behind the counter/To the woman/Who has come in/She is shaking/Her derriere.
* Suzi embarks in a nationwide shopping mall tour to promote the album, a la Tiffany. Sponsored by Contempo Casuals.
* On the album cover, SV wears a white Gucci dress, and gold eyeshadow. She appears in several different outfits and hairstyles in the CD booklet. She thanks, among others, in her two page thank-you note, hairstylist Oribe and Steven Spielberg ("for inspiration").
* "Stockings" is adopted as the theme song for the new L'Eggs ad campaign.
* A&M actually spends some marketing money to promote the album.
Khairyl
Subj: Re: What If Suzi Sold Out
Date: 96-07-26 00:14:47 EDT
From: EricS10332@aol.com
To: arel@pc.jaring.my
CC: undertow@law.emory.edu
In a message dated 96-07-25 22:46:15 EDT, you write:
<< The single would include several remixes by R. Kelly (Down Home Mix, Chitterlin Mix), with guest rapper Ol' Dirty Bastard. Sample lyrics: "Where you been, girl? /You lookin' fine"/Says the man/Behind the counter/To the woman/Who has come in/She is shaking/Her derriere. >>
Actually, Flavey-Flavor has worked with Suzanne on a rap version of "Luka", entitled "Luka-G" soon to be released on Gansta Records -
(snip)
My name is Luka, y'all
Luka - G
I got me a whack-ass family
Don't come round here
for da 4-1-1
That noise you hearing
aint me havin no fun
Yeeeah.
You know, I live on 2
you be on 1
I ain't kickin' with my homies
It's Mama whompin' on my bum
Yeeeah.
(snip)
Sorry, no soundclip is available.. :)
Subj: Re: What If Suzi Sold Out
Date: 96-07-26 10:47:13 EDT
From: EricS10332@aol.com
Sender: owner-undertow@law.emory.edu
To: undertow@serv4.law.emory.edu
In a message dated 96-07-26 10:10:29 EDT, you write:
>> > Sorry, no soundclip is available.. :)
Because you're kidding . . . Right?
Wendy! <<
Kidding? No way!
It'll be on Gangsta's tribute to Suzanne, which is called, "Solitude Shootout."
Yes, Wendy, I was kidding!
Cordially,
Easy-E, aka Grand (web)Master E.
Subj: Re: What If Suzi Sold Out
Date: 96-07-26 10:54:43 EDT
From: Debra.Shapiro@nsta.org (Debra)
Reply-to: dshapiro@nsta.org
To: EricS10332@aol.com
Dear "Easy-E, aka Grand (web)Master E."--
I'm a lurker who must tell you that this thread on "Suzi selling out" is one of the most hilarious threads on Undertow, and I'm truly enjoying the creativity and humor expressed. Keep up the good work!
Debra
P.S. I can't believe Wendy! thought "Gangsta Suzi" was for real! Wendy!, why don't you post some creative "Suzi sells out" material of your own? I think it would be great!
Subj: What If Suzi Sold Out -Reply
Date: 96-07-26 14:06:52 EDT
From: rossc@slf.org
Sender: owner-undertow@law.emory.edu
To: undertow@serv4.law.emory.edu
Dunno if I'd care.
Since being a music fan starting about 1970, I've had my favorite artist "go gold" so many times it's just another phase.
Usually what happens is after a few years, I realize that a lot of the new material is BETTER. Peter Gabriel comes to mind.
Every artist wants to sell out! It's just a matter of the style of selling out.
Every fan wants their artist of desire to their own private club/cult.
Charlie Ross
rossc@slf.org
Subj: Raprospective - Re: What If Suzi Sold Out
Date: 96-07-26 20:04:34 EDT
From: EricS10332@aol.com
Sender: owner-undertow@law.emory.edu
To: dshapiro@nsta.org, undertow@serv4.law.emory.edu
In a message dated 96-07-26 10:54:43 EDT, dshapiro@nsta.org writes:
>> I'm a lurker who must tell you that this thread on "Suzi selling out" is one of the most hilarious threads on Undertow, and I'm truly enjoying the creativity and humor expressed. <<
Hey - Khairyl started it! :) Maybe this will draw Bob King out of lurkerdom, perhaps to compose, "Glock In This Pocket" or "The Queen and the Homeboy"... He writes really well, I bet he can bust a rhyme.
:)
Subj: Re: What If Suzi Sold Out -Reply
Date: 96-07-28 12:21:17 EDT
From: s3033469@student.anu.edu.au (Robin Shortt)
Sender: owner-undertow@law.emory.edu
To: undertow@serv4.law.emory.edu
>Dunno if I'd care.
>
>Since being a music fan starting about 1970, I've had my
>favorite artist "go gold" so many times it's just another
>phase.
>
>Usually what happens is after a few years, I realize that a lot
>of the new material is BETTER. Peter Gabriel comes to
>mind.
Bruce Springsteen also springs to mind; he "sold out" with BORN IN THE USA after NEBRASKA and so forth, then came back with DEAD MAN WALKING.
I have a copy of "Rock Notes" (?) magazine from way back in '92, with an interview with Suzanne in which she "firmly denies rumours she's working on a hip-hop album of her own". So I think she's one step ahead of us ...
Cheers,
Robin
Subj: C&W Suzanne! - Re: Raprospective - Re: What If Suzi Sold Out
Date: 96-07-28 12:40:17 EDT
From: s3033469@student.anu.edu.au (Robin Shortt)
Sender: owner-undertow@law.emory.edu
To: undertow@serv4.law.emory.edu
>In a message dated 96-07-26 10:54:43 EDT, dshapiro@nsta.org writes:
>Hey - Khairyl started it! :) Maybe this will draw Bob King out of lurkerdom,
>perhaps to compose, "Glock In This Pocket" or "The Queen and the Homeboy"...
That's TERRIBLE. Really really awful. I love it.
OK, howzabout a country-and-western Suzanne retrospective? "Solitude Scootin'" ... featuring "When Heroes Go Down (With Their Boots On)", "Fancy Grits", "I Shot A Man In Liverpool, Just to Watch Him Die", and, of course, "Tom's Country Bunker" ...
I think I'll take a cold shower.
Cheers,
Robin
Subj: Re: C&W Suzanne! - Re: Raprospective - Re: What If Suzi Sold Out
Date: 96-07-28 15:15:09 EDT
From: copper@mercury.interpath.com
Sender: owner-undertow@law.emory.edu
To: s3033469@student.anu.edu.au (Robin Shortt)
CC: undertow@serv4.law.emory.edu
> OK, howzabout a country-and-western Suzanne retrospective?
> "Solitude Scootin'" ... featuring "When Heroes Go Down (With Their Boots
> On)", "Fancy Grits", "I Shot A Man In Liverpool, Just to Watch Him Die",
> and, of course, "Tom's Country Bunker" ...
No no no no! It's "As Grits Go":
You make some pretty good grits
as grits go
they still taste kinda dry
you shouldn't use the instant type
if I could choke these down
would I really be southern kind?
Or should I stick to pig's feet
and collard greens with pork rind?
(Insert Guitar Solo Here)
Oh, and then there's "Marlena-Lou on the Wall", and "Cracking (Sweet Peas)" and "Cool Hand Luka"
.. and now *I* have to take a cold shower...
Subj: Re: C&W Suzanne! - Re: Raprospective - Re: What If Suzi Sold Out
Date: 96-07-28 17:28:23 EDT
From: EricS10332@aol.com
Sender: owner-undertow@law.emory.edu
To: copper@mercury.interpath.com, undertow@serv4.law.emory.edu
In a message dated 96-07-28 15:15:09 EDT, you write:
>> No no no no! It's "As Grits Go": <<
(snip)
I love it! Thanks for a HUGE laugh today!
Eric :) (still grinning)
Subj: Re: What If Suzi Sold Out
Date: 96-07-30 10:51:46 EDT
From: allan@barebones.com (Allan Rousselle)
To: EricS10332@aol.com
>It'll be on Gangsta's tribute to Suzanne, which is called, "Solitude
>Shootout."
Eric,
A classic. I loved the lyrics.
still snickering,
Allan
Subj: I'm back! / Rap parody
Date: 96-07-31 13:44:58 EDT
From: rwalters@lafayette.unocal.com (Rob Walters)
Sender: owner-undertow@law.emory.edu
To: undertow@serv4.law.emory.edu
Hello everyone,
I was temporarily disconnected for awhile due to server problems, but I hope it's fixed now. I just got the last ~50 Undertow posts all at once! Good to see people introducing themselves and delurking.
The 'rap' Suzi and C&W Suzanne ('What if Suzi sold out') thread gets my vote for most hilarious in a long time! I think Neighborhood Girls is an obvious choice for a rap re-do as "Girls 'n the 'Hood." For C&W, how about Fat Man and Dancing Girl re-done as "Preacher Man and Honky-Tonk Woman"? ;)
Aww - what the heck: here's a little of 'Girls 'n the 'Hood':
(rap with obligatory chunky bass beat)
"I wuz walkin' in the mornin', by McKinsey's bar
Then I saw her comin', didn't have to look far
She had the long, black hair and the eyes of ice
And I said to myself, 'Hey, she looks kind of nice.'
Hangin' with my homeys at the party later on
She was talkin' this jive 'bout a backbone gone..." OK, that's enough! :)
The 'woman singer and producer husband' list is interesting to think about also. I hadn't realized there were that many!
Back for now, pending lack of further mail server snafus (!),
-Rob
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