TOURBUS: Tuesday, 16 April 1996 DRIVER: Bob Rankin TODAY'S TOURBUS STOP: Speaking Geek Hooray! I've just finished six months of work on my upcoming book, "Doctor Bob's Painless Guide To The Internet and Amazing Things You Can Do With E-Mail". My publisher and I keenly sensed a lack of Internet books with really long titles, so that explains the name. Stay tuned over the next few weeks for details on availability. In the mean time, you can get my "Goodies" guide by checking out the deals at one of our kind sponsors... *--------------* BIG-TIME MAGAZINES FOR $10 A YEAR? *--------------* ONLY TOURBUS RIDERS KNOW HOW! Magazine Express has Exclusive TourBus Discounts others can only dream about. Plus, Dr. Bob's new "Internet Goodies" is FREE. This is a limited time offer, so get details now by sending email to: *--------------------( tourbus@magazines.com )---------------------* Today I've got a glossary of terms that will help as you explore the Internet on your own. You'll no doubt encounter many of these words in your travels, so bone up now on your Geek and you'll be prepared when the acronyms, buzzwords, and euphemisms start flying! I threw a few zingers in just to lighten things up a little. And I sincerely hope I haven't accidentally used any Yiddish profanities in the process. :-) Glossing Over The Internet -------------------------- ASCII - A plain text format that can be displayed on any computer; acronym for American Standard Code for Information Interchange. Baud - A measure of modem speed. One baud can be thought of as one bit per second. (True geeks will foam at the mouth when you say that, though.) A single character is composed of eight bits of data. Browser - A piece of software that displays World-Wide Web documents, such as Netscape, Mosaic or Lynx. When the saleslady at the cybermall asks "Can I help you?", just say "No thanks, I'm only browsing." Cyber-Splat - The tendency to prefix words with "cyber" just because they are remotely related to the Internet. Evokes a collective gag reflex at parties. FAQ - A document that provides answers to frequently asked questions on a specific topic. Common usage: "Read the FAQ, Bozo." FTP - File Transfer Protocol, or File Transfer Program. An exercise which creates input for PKUNZIP such that it will invariably reply "ZIP file corrupt". Flame - Expression of a strong opinion or criticism, often directed at the clueless, tactless or FAQ-less. HTML - Hypertext markup language, the language used to create and format documents for by display by a World-Wide Web browser. Hypertext - A system of linking documents together such that a simple text file takes on the proportions of a Michener novel. IMHO - Acronym for "In My Humble Opinion". Commonly used in electronic discussions by pompous jerks who think they're never wrong. Internet - A computer network that connects 400 billion people in 17 galaxies, or something like that. IRC - Internet Relay Chat, a multi-user chat system that enables people to create silly nicknames and pretend they are good-looking. Lurking - To hang out in a mailing list or Usenet group in mortal fear that your first posting will result in "Read the FAQ, Bozo." Newsreader - A software program used to read and post Usenet messages. Examples are FreeAgent (for Windows) and NewsWatcher (for Macintosh). PPP - Point to Point Protocol. A communication method that allows a personal computer to be directly connected to the Internet using a standard voice telephone line. Packet - A blob of data sent over a network. Each packet includes a message, the identity of the sender and receiver, and instructions for making a bomb out of cow manure. RTFM - Read The Fine Manual, a retort to another user who has asked a common question that can be answered by reading the available documentation. (The word "fine" is commonly replaced by a more vulgar substitute.) TCP/IP - Transmission Control Protocol/Internet Protocol, a set of rules that enables different types of computers to insult each other in their native language and still understand what is being said. UNIX - A computer operating system designed by geeks on drugs. Unfortunately it was the foundation for the development of the Internet and is the platform on which many Internet computers operate. Do we need a break? OK, take five and do the Million Dollar thing... *-----------------* Win the $1 Million Dollar Giveaway! *----------------* Enter in the PrizeLINK Progressive Jackpot Sweepstakes At Web Warehouse mall! Play the Browse & Win game, with a chance to Win up to a COOL $1 Million!! Web Warehouse Shopping Mall offers a wide assortment of quality consumer items and services ranging from jewelry to music CDs. Stop by today and take advantage of the Special Monthly Savings! *------------------------( http://webwarehouse.com )-----------------------* URL - Universal Resource Locator, a curious assortment of colons, slashes and other funny characters that make up the address of a Web document. (ie: http://www.snarch.com/~magilla/gorilla.html) Usenet - A electronic conferencing system that enables millions of Internet users to wallow in dung. UUencoding - A means of converting a binary file into ASCII form so that it can be sent by e-mail to another Internet user. The sender uses the UUENCODE program, and the receiver must use UUDECODE to convert the file to it's original form. *---------------------------* GET SMART *------------------------------* Online instruction can be invigorating, personally motivating & highly rewarding. For more info about university courses online, point your browser to http://major.UWSTOUT.edu or e-mail to "conted@UWSTOUT.edu". *------------------------------------------------------------------------* Do you feel smarter now? Hope you enjoyed my little detour today! -Bob ====================================================================== SUBSCRIBE : Send SUBSCRIBE TOURBUS Firstname Lastname to LISTSERV@LISTSERV.AOL.COM unSUBSCRIBE: Send SIGNOFF TOURBUS to LISTSERV@LISTSERV.AOL.COM Web Site : http://www.WorldVillage.com/tourbus.htm Advertising: E-mail BobRankin@MHV.net w/ Subject: SEND TBRATES ====================================================================== _________________________________________________________________ TOURBUS - (c) Copyright 1996, Patrick Crispen and Bob Rankin All rights reserved. Redistribution is allowed only with permission. Send this copy to 3 friends and tell them to get on the Bus!